How To Make A Comment To Help People Improve

Kia Ora Bloggers!
As you know we have all just come back from a two week Holiday and I hope that this blog is still as good as I would hope. This isn't my first blog back the first was my home work for this week but im going to count this one as more of the first blog. I really do hope all of you guys had an amazing Holiday and I hope you still learned something new share it with  me in the comments for an example I have been learning how to skateboard. Let Me Know!

For this post I have decided to teach you all how to give fee back in the best way to help people improve and learn new things from you learnt  what Tuhi Mai Tuhi Atu is ( if you don't know what Tuhi Mai Tuhi Atu is its where schools comment on other schools blogs ) you teach and you learn from people so they can grow as a student or anyone else because I think that adults can learn just as much from kids as kids can learn for adults.

We have been given a buddy to work on and help them to improve their work my buddy's name was Jorja. We learnt that you comment is basically in 3 parts what they did well and you have to be specific in what they did well and where they can improve on also being specific on what and where they can improve on.

This was mine.

Amazing Work Jorja.

I really enjoy how you added all of the events, you also added then in with paragraphs and explained how you felt. I hoped you enjoyed all of those salt and Vinegar chips! ( those are my favorites )

Your writing is amazing already but there is always room for improvement and really using all of your skills in your writing.

First I would love for you to added in time connectives you have used them in your story but very rarely I think that you could improve the ones there or add in new ones. Time connectives are words you use to start of you sentences like Ispace but for time so words like First, Afterwards,When so on so on. You did add some in the First and Last Paragraph.

I also think that you are an amazing writer most of the time but I think that you could do alot better if you summed up the event. To do this is very simple when you get used to it, the way I do it it to think of all of the best words to describe the event and try to put it in a sentence in its own small paragraph at the end.

I think that you could use more words to describe how people feel so you words of emotion such as, " he was Frustrated " such and such.

First to learn how to give better feed back e waked a video called Austin's Butterfly.

I really hoped you enjoyed this and please leave me some feedback on my comment and what you think about the Austin's butterfly video Thanks!